I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
