I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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