I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
