I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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