I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
