My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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