I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
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You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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