clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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