A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
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I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
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WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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