Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
