fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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