Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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