we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
