I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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