woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
