I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
This is sufficient.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
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I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
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I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.