nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
