Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
