Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
