you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
