She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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