Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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