3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
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If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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