I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
