she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
