Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
