My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
