Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize