some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
