Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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