just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize