I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
