About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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