I'm gonna have a badass scar
I think my vagina is haunted
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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