alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
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You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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