question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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