There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize