Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The beer is more important than you right now.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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