I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
this hospital has no fireball
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
