She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
