is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
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The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
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I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?