So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
