forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
