Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA

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  (203): i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA http://tfl.nu/d77g
  Replies (14) Good night (4913) Bad night (819)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.

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  (918): I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical. http://tfl.nu/pf93
  Replies (49) Good night (6383) Bad night (1784)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.

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  (607): Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave. http://tfl.nu/8ei2
  Replies (12) Good night (1863) Bad night (6125)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...

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  (410): He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone... http://tfl.nu/g061
  Replies (15) Good night (1557) Bad night (6046)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.

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  (+44): Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS. http://tfl.nu/15we
  Replies (16) Good night (1742) Bad night (3482)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.

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  (404): All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen. http://tfl.nu/mg75
  Replies (2) Good night (2377) Bad night (900)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes

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  (519): If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes http://tfl.nu/ayyp
  Replies (29) Good night (4242) Bad night (1392)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there

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  (812): Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there http://tfl.nu/jzmv
  Replies (4) Good night (1261) Bad night (766)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.

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  (513): We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit. http://tfl.nu/qhz6
  Replies (2) Good night (2187) Bad night (673)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.

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  (604): Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over. http://tfl.nu/sa4q
  Replies (11) Good night (1586) Bad night (438)
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  (619): View more from California

  I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!

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  (619): I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends! http://tfl.nu/6jqq
  Replies (5) Good night (592) Bad night (880)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.

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  (440): I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape. http://tfl.nu/tyij
  Replies (2) Good night (639) Bad night (339)
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  (518): View more from New York

  He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.

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  (518): He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard. http://tfl.nu/suwu
  Replies (6) Good night (450) Bad night (792)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.

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  (913): Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal. http://tfl.nu/l222
  Replies (2) Good night (749) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.

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  (610): Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college. http://tfl.nu/99u6
  Replies (2) Good night (1400) Bad night (379)

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