I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys