So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
3 2 1 whiskey
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?