Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center

  (1-917): View more from New York City

  you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth

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  (917): so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center (1-917): you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth http://tfl.nu/ukvm
  Replies (78) Good night (15608) Bad night (1025)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford

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  (804): so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford http://tfl.nu/pdng
  Replies (108) Good night (4261) Bad night (981)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon

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  (701): that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon http://tfl.nu/7qfo
  Replies (20) Good night (3457) Bad night (836)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before

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  (908): I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before http://tfl.nu/y7l7
  Replies (15) Good night (4713) Bad night (635)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.

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  (419): All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex. http://tfl.nu/ooyw
  Replies (5) Good night (865) Bad night (4545)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower

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  (250): I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower http://tfl.nu/dtnj
  Replies (14) Good night (6148) Bad night (1181)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!

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  (604): Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car! http://tfl.nu/7dcx
  Replies (6) Good night (5020) Bad night (1230)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.

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  (828): my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty. http://tfl.nu/rhpp
  Replies (29) Good night (7239) Bad night (1129)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!

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  (617): I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed! http://tfl.nu/vwkc
  Replies (6) Good night (1732) Bad night (886)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach

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  (913): I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach http://tfl.nu/0ndj
  Replies (5) Good night (625) Bad night (1092)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?

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  (850): Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony? http://tfl.nu/sjtx
  Replies (10) Good night (566) Bad night (1020)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"

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  (608): I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better" http://tfl.nu/176v
  Replies (10) Good night (1385) Bad night (468)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.

  (1-304): View more from West Virginia

  And vodka?

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  And vodka.

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  (304): The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period. (1-304): And vodka? (304): And vodka. http://tfl.nu/b29x
  Replies (6) Good night (1533) Bad night (499)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.

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  (901): Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life. http://tfl.nu/oxrc
  Replies (5) Good night (691) Bad night (461)
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  (858): View more from California

  Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.

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  (858): Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station. http://tfl.nu/uxsr
  Replies (1) Good night (600) Bad night (316)

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