She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
