my room smells like sperm. sweet.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
