Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
