Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
