Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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