thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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