In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
