nut hugger
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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