I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
