It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.