No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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