i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
