The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize