I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
