What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
