I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
